The super fun mental stuff

One thing I was not prepared for with this journey (I still hate that phrasing) was the mental mind fuck that comes with it. There are so many different pieces with it. The scale is one all it’s own. A lot of times it won’t move but you see differences in your body or how your clothes fit but the number doesn’t budge and it’s extremely frustrating. That takes a toll mentally right off the rip. But then comes the things that you don’t realize. This whole process changes everything in your life; how you look at things, how you think about things, every decision and choice you make. A big piece of that that I’m unfortunately learning now is how all those choices and decisions impact the people that are close to you. For me, if I go out to dinner or something with friends, I find myself stressing out about food choices or blowing my daily calorie goal. I didn’t realize that verbalizing some of these things or openly beating myself up over it negatively impacted the people around me. I’ve unintentionally made some of my friends feel bad or guilty for putting me in a position where I’m stressing myself out of choices I have to make and then they feel bad or they feel responsible for putting me in that position by inviting me to something that will have temptations. I didn’t realize this was happening and it’s caused strain on several of my closest friendships. The last 20 months have been extremely challenging, but 2024 in particular, not a fan. 0/10 recommend. I’m really trying to get my brain right.

However, really the only thing that has kept me from completely going off the deep end is consistency. It’s the one thing that hasn’t changed in my life and it’s the one thing I have any control over. Staying in my routine, tracking my calories, going to the gym; that’s all I can control these days. Consistency is the most important part in all of this. Just stay the course. If you need the reminder, just keep going. Progress over perfection. Things aren’t always going to be 100% on point. You’re supposed to live life through this process too. One off day isn’t going to derail all the work you put in every day. Get right back on it the next day. Don’t fly off the rails for a week because you went over on your calorie goal for one day. Just get back in your routine and things will even back out. I know that’s hard to do in the moment sometimes because the mind can be a very dark and scary place. I am trying to remind myself of this. But if someone else needs to hear it, just stay the course. If you have a fun night, have a fun night. Get back on your routine tomorrow. It will be ok.

This is a long road, there is always going to be temptation or choices we have to make every single day. I will say, with my journey and tracking and being mindful of what I’m eating or drinking, it’s made it easier to make better choices typically. But it’s not always going to be perfect. I like the 80/20 rule. 80% of the time, be on point with your food and diet and 20% gives you some flexibility for less healthy choices/fun foods. And if you know you have something coming up on the weekend or something, you can plan for that. Do a little more cardio during the week or get a little tighter with your diet/calories throughout the week to give a little more balance for the fun stuff. I’m trying to get better at this, no one and nothing is perfect.

I took a moment today and looked back and compared to where I was last year vs this year. This time last year I was down 116lbs. I’ve doubled down since that time last year. That is a positive I can sit with for now.

Just start. Stick with it. Stay consistent. Change takes time but eventually you will see it.